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"am i the only one who allows his mind to prance free of the box?"

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"why does everything i love run away from me?"
"because you have to pet everything like an idiot."

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"first they fatten us up with all those two-for-one pizza coupons, then when we're too logey to put up a fight, they sell us off to the red cross, who removes our kidneys which go back to the pizzas to start the process all over again."

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"you don't know me. i am unknowable."

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"i have killed all the bugs in arlen. it is time for me to take on new challenges."

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"do what you need to do. as long as there is no shame involved, hear me? you're a person."

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"if everybody fried their food there would be no war."

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"i hear the words you're saying. and i believe you believe it's important."

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"you are about to witness how nature turns a profit."

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"i want you to know that whatever you decide, it's none of my business."

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"i'm thor."

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"if you give a valentine to a sixth grade boy, girls are going to think you're sensitive. and something like that can follow you the rest of your life."

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"do not say can't. you will not use contractions in this house."

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"suffering is a part of every religion."

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"she made me god. heh."
"hey, if you're god i guess that makes me jesus."

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"girls' sports are a joke."

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"you got lice?"
"i also spit when i talk. and i fart when i spit."
"that's what makes the world interesting."

~

"sometimes the coolest thing to do is make your own path, and not kill a panda."

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"sometimes a herd can be the safest place there is, but the wrong herd can trample you."

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"is the wind sacred?"

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"when we ask for strength, the great spirit sends us difficulties which make us strong."

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"you just have to do two things: move this leg, then move that one."

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"i don't punish you to make you miserable, i punish you to make you happy."

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"i actually shot the put! or did i put the shot? either way, i threw it!"

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"is there any lesson sports can't teach?"