~

"if we do not learn from the past, what's the point of even having one?"

~

"my brain is a shovel"

~

"we can't wait for alien explorers to solve all our problems"

~

"long, painful, boring death."

~

"it goes to show a father knows what's best for a kid. and the mother, although well-meaning, is usually wrong."

~

"well i just know something about human nature, son. if you put teenagers and husky boys and donuts all in the same place, you're just asking for trouble."

~

"water?"
"it's in a bottle?"
"when you reach the top, son, you'll find most everything is."

~

"models are some of the happiest people on earth."

~

"are you attempting to know me?"

~

"baby wants a beer."

~

"do not tell me what i can and cannot do."

~

"think about that, peggy: death."

~

"guys suck."

~

"women boxing huh? if they wear gloves, how do they scratch each other?"

~

"easy there angry bear."

~

"don't ever get angry? you turn into the world's doormat! read your bible. god has a hell of a temper - you piss him off, you're up to your ass in locusts. look at him the wrong way, pillar of salt! he's one tough two-fisted gin joint bouncer, and he made us in his image."

~

"take it easy parcheesi."

~

"i don't have a problem with anger, i have a problem with idiots."

~

"native americans probably own those houses."

~

"eat lots of mayonnaise!"

~

"don't be so happy with yourself. you're just singing someone else's songs. no skill involved. unlike poetry. i shall know recite a poem i wrote while awaiting trial at the hague: so much depends upon inhumanity and death. we must forget yet we cannot remember. death be not proud - "

~

"somebody should invent a pill that just makes you happy."

~

"i've even had dreams that i was a little bunny and you petted me and petted me and petted me until you broke my neck."