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"if we do not learn from the past, what's the point of even having one?"

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"my brain is a shovel"

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"we can't wait for alien explorers to solve all our problems"

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"long, painful, boring death."

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"it goes to show a father knows what's best for a kid. and the mother, although well-meaning, is usually wrong."

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"well i just know something about human nature, son. if you put teenagers and husky boys and donuts all in the same place, you're just asking for trouble."

~

"water?"
"it's in a bottle?"
"when you reach the top, son, you'll find most everything is."

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"models are some of the happiest people on earth."

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"are you attempting to know me?"

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"baby wants a beer."

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"do not tell me what i can and cannot do."

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"think about that, peggy: death."

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"guys suck."

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"women boxing huh? if they wear gloves, how do they scratch each other?"

~

"easy there angry bear."

~

"don't ever get angry? you turn into the world's doormat! read your bible. god has a hell of a temper - you piss him off, you're up to your ass in locusts. look at him the wrong way, pillar of salt! he's one tough two-fisted gin joint bouncer, and he made us in his image."

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"take it easy parcheesi."

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"i don't have a problem with anger, i have a problem with idiots."

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"native americans probably own those houses."

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"eat lots of mayonnaise!"